The Trees of Eternity

Do you plan on getting a second opinion from another facility? I know a few major success stories with laser surgery . . . and a few horror stories. You really only get the one shot.

Let me know, then I'll decide about the contribution. :)

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Bugger, I replied to this and the universe ate my reply.

I am looking at the options, including overseas clinics, but all the UK clinics seem to be pretty much the same price and the overseas ones would have to be a lot cheaper to balance out after adding travel and hotel and the stress of doing something like this in an unfamiliar country.

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Mostly, when people do these things, people donate because it's something the person desperately needs and they're helping someone out of a hole - because something dire has happened or they've suffered some gross misfortune beyond their control - not because they don't really fancy wearing contact lenses or glasses, anymore.

I'm sure a lot of people on your flist would love to have people give them £1000 to spend on laser surgery, or a nosejob because they've always been self-conscious about that bump, or to help them pay off unexpected medical bills, desperately needed repairs to their homes or just to help take the pressure off because of the current cost of everything in the economy right now - I'm sure most people would in fact like to be in a position to not even have to hope for those things.

It's pretty cheeky to ask everyone else to pay for something you want, especially at a time when there are much greater crises going on in the world. Tens of thousands of people have just been killed in Burma, thousands more will probably die there. If people have money to spare, I'm sure a lot of them will be giving it to the people whose lives are at risk because of natural disasters or oppression.

If you think you can afford that other £800, why don't you try saving up for the extra over the next year or two? Yeah, you won't get the surgery immediately, but by then the prices will probably have come down further anyway. The direction you've taken your career in doesn't guarantee a constant wage, and I know that, but for the rest of us working 9-til-5 for our money, even though it might not be a first choice career, or even probably our last choice, we do it because that's how we have to survive - and I'd be fairly sure that for most people you know it's still a bit of a struggle at times. If you can't afford what you want to do because of your lifestyle, maybe it'd be time to re-evaluate it, you know?

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I feel I can be fairly free in replying to this as I see you've already unfriended me. So I will gladly say, get over yourself Alfie. I have every right to ask and everyone else has every right not to give me any money if they don't want to. No harm, no foul. Everything doesn't have to be life and death unless we're all planning to give up every frivolity and go work for the UN and give all our extra money to the poor.

I hate having poor eyesight, I hate having to wear glasses and I hate having to wear contacts, I always have. Whenever I think of what I would change about myself, my eyesight tops the list. And I don't feel in the slightest bad for asking that those who think they can afford it and want to, put some money towards fixing that. It wouldn't be the first non-essential item that people have chipped in to replace in the great world of online.

And since the prices have gone up not down over the last four years I'm certainly not holding my breath on it getting any cheaper. It used to be £600 per eye.

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The problem is, Marysia, you do expect other people to buy stuff for you all the time. I've seen you do it and I've heard the stories, and for me this was the icing on the cake. I did not defriend you on a whim because of one solitary act.

I feel like you have sense of entitlement way beyond what you deserve, you have very little understanding of the people around you and the how your behaviour is perceived by others.

You can take whatever self-righteous stand you choose, but it won't change my perception of your actions or your choice to depend on other people to get what you want.

For the record, it says a lot that you don't even know nobody has called me Alfie for years.

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For the record, it says a lot that you don't even know nobody has called me Alfie for years.

I did just point out that we hadn't seen each other in a couple of years. Possibly longer.

Think whatever you like, if my other friends have a problem with this... well, I would rather assume that they would make their point by just not contributing rather than throwing a public hissy fit over the whole thing.

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It's not a public hissy fit. My original post to you was as polite as I could make it, pointing out that maybe you were expecting a bit much of people to pay for something you simply want. This isn't a necessity, Marysia - it's considered cosmetic and can be rectified by cheaper means. You could get by as you are until you saved the rest yourself.

Don't you have any pride at all? I've seen people virtually in the gutter who have all but refused help forced upon them when they truly deserved it.

It just baffles me that anyone would make a request like this.

But go about your life. Good luck. That's all I have to say. Even thinking about this just breaks my brain.

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I have happily sent a contribution, but I also very much think it's worth looking at a range of providers and opinions, particularly at the failure rate and incidence of complications.

See Mercola on this topic and try a general search of Dr Mercola's website under "laser eye surgery".

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Ok, I'm going to go ahead and disagree with the person above this post. If laser eye surgery will help you, improve your quality of life and you really have looked into it, then as your friend, naturally I want to help you. What I think that they don't understand is that this isn't someone turning themselves into a charity case... it is a friend asking for help, if people can give it. As a student, I really can't offer much, but I will contribute quite happily when I get my next loan installment :)

Take care and see you soon,

Lxx

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Whoops, I was talking about the second post, not wildbadger, sorry xx

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No problem - I agree with you completely!

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Well, I'm sorry - I think you're both foolish. This is not something Marysia needs, it's something she wants because as she's said she can't be bothered to fiddle with contacts.

Marysia - I'm sorry. I've known you a long time and I know you expect people to pay for things for you a lot (and I have done so for you in the past because you were my friend and shouting you a meal is something I'll stretch to) but I just don't think this is cool. If you needed an operation to save your sight because of a genuine medical condition, such as cataracts or something, I'd understand, but this is freeloading and I think people are mad for supporting it.

You'll probably be glad to know I'm removing you from my flist, seeing as I'm not contributing.

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Huh. I really hope you aren't actually removing her just for this; it would be a real pity to lose friends just because a post of theirs pissed you off. But I know nothing of your relationship, so I won't jump in the middle of this.

What I will do is point out that unlike you I have never bought Marysia anything before, in all the time I have known her. I have never seen her implying that other people should buy her things or ask for anything from anyone before. I doubt that she posted this on a whim, either. She has stated that even with contacts she still can't see properly, which would drive me insane.

Despite being a student, I give money to lots of causes I think are important (such as world vision) and volunteer when I can. Giving money to a friend, whether by buying them a coffee or contributing towards eye surgery is not them freeloading; it's me deciding to treat them to something.

And please don't call me foolish for wanting to help out a friend. I said I disagree with you; you insulted me. Out of proportion, imho.

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Actually I don't expect people to pay for things at all. I don't turn down offers of drinks at the pub or someone offering to pay for a meal, but I don't require them either. And within my budget I will gladly buy a round or pay for a meal for someone else. Generally friends make allowances for the budgets of their other friends, if I know someone earns a lot more than me then I won't worry overly about them offering to pay for something, if I think that money is tight for them then I will be sure to make sure everything evens out.

Since we have barely seen each other in a couple of years I can hardly say you know me all that well. In fact you clearly don't, since you think that I assume people who don't contribute to this are people who are not my friends. I have absolutely no problem with people not contributing, it's not an ultimatum!

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I think - in fact, I hope - that one day you realise where your actions in repaying people are deficient.

It's not even me; I'm prepared to buy my friends dinner or drinks whatever their situation. But there are people who you have leant on way, way more than you have repaid them and I don't think you even notice it.

I'll let them deal with that. But just take a look at things aside from nights out or dinners with people.

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If you're going to make such veiled insinuations, why not just come out and name some names. If there are people you think I owe money to then tell me who they are, you don't have to do it on here, you have my email address. I've never borrowed more than the odd tenner from anyone and I've lent money to people often enough in the past. If I've ever forgotten to pay someone back for money I have borrowed I would hope people would remind me, but I'm really somewhat at a loss to know what you're going on about.

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well
having the same problem here
i am short sighted and I dream also of the same thing that I actually cannot afford... but well I cannot afford right now the recording of my upcoming album either... anyway, when I asked for donations for making my first album, it finally was made into reality and not because people´s help even if the few who did really encouraged me too
so luck with it
in this point I understand you perfectly! The only thing people might find strange is why is that important to you, but we´re living from the stage! it is important for us... !!
luck with it, really!

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Thanks :)

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Added £6 from Maria and I. Hope it helps

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Thanks!

Hope you are both well :)

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